Here we go!
10. Lean on Pete
Let me make one thing clear. Lean on Pete is not a bad film. It in fact is a good film. A very good film, actually. I just didn't enjoy it. At all. It was incredibly depressing, and I have zero desire to ever watch it again nor ever think about it again. In my opinion, it is 100% the opposite of a movie that I would like. It's about a young boy who takes a job helping an old, washed up horse trainer. The boy becomes attached to one of the horses, Pete, and when he learns that Pete is up for slaughter, he runs away with Pete, trying to save the horse from its fate. Along the journey the boy becomes orphaned and basically homeless. Things just get worse and worse from there. Not at all an enjoyable film watching experience.
9. Disobedience
I feel like producers made this movie just so the Rachels could make out. The film was very uninteresting. Rachel Weisz plays a woman who was shunned by her Orthodox Jewish community for her homosexual tendencies, specifically for her attraction to her female friend, the other Rachel - McAdams. Years later, when her father dies she returns to her hometown and reunites with her family and her friend who is now married to a man. An attraction between the women still exists. Drama ensues. Kim yawns.
8. Blockers
I wanted so hard to like this movie. I love raunchy teen comedies, and I was excited that this one was female driven, but unfortunately it just fell flat. It wasn't funny. All the good parts were the trailer, and those parts weren't even that great. It was definitely a huge let down.
7. Super Troopers 2
I am a big fan of the first Super Troopers. I thought it was absolutely hilarious. So I was actually really excited for the sequel. But either my maturity level has increased or the film was pathetically juvenile. The former is unlikely so it must be the latter. I'll admit I laughed at some parts, but overall, the movie was just not funny and a huge disappointment.
6. The Little Mermaid
This movie confused me. It had high production value (it's a period film with decent costumes and set design) yet at the same time looked extremely amateur, like it was made by students. How the heck were you able to shoot at these gorgeous locations, but manage to make the quality of your film look like mid grade porn? The discrepancy between high production value and shitty looking film is a real head scratcher for me. In addition to that, the acting is so bad. So, so bad!! SO BAD. The movie is on Netflix if you're curious!
5. Mile 22
I don't understand why this movie was made. There was nothing original or interesting about it. Wait, no. I take that back. There was one really cool fight scene. But other than that, this film had no redeeming qualities. I love Mark Walhberg, but I feel like making this film was a huge waste of his time, the filmmakers' time, and all human beings who saw this movie's time. Actually, the story sounded interesting. Mark plays the leader of a highly elite special forces unit whose mission is to extract and transport a package - a man with very important information - 22 miles across extremely dangerous terrain. I feel like that alone would have made for a very exciting action movie, but they threw in a bunch of unnecessary backstory and twists that took away from the core of the story. Plus, Mark Wahlberg's acting was really bad!
4. A Wrinkle in Time
I was surprised that this movie bombed because it was adapted from a beloved book, was produced by Disney, had big stars in it, and the studio marketed the shit out of it. Oprah's in it for goodness sake! But then I saw it...and then I understood. It is very bad! I don't understand how Disney managed to make a multi-million dollar action/adventure film painfully boring, but they did! Just goes to show that pouring buckets of money into a movie won't necessary make it good!
3. Alpha
I had to see this movie because I'm a crazy dog lady. But holy hell was it god awful!! First of all, it was some of the worst CGI I have ever seen! Look, I can understand why you wouldn't want to use real wolves, but if you're going to make a movie about the origin of the relationship between humans and dogs, you should probably spend a little more time making sure the wolves look realistic. Or use real dogs that look like wolves! Or if you can't do either of those things, then don't make the movie at all! Doggies deserve better than that.
2. Mandy
This is a huge joke, right? We're all being trolled, right? Every movie critic in the world got together and decided to write very good reviews for this completely ridiculous, beyond over the top, something straight out of my nightmares Nicholas Cage monstrosity so that us innocent, unsuspecting viewers will watch it, not knowing what ludicrous calamity awaits us. The only reason why I even know about this movie is because Entertainment Weekly put it on their top ten movies of 2018 list. And the more I read about it, the more good things I heard. I mean there's a chainsaw fight for goodness sake! I had to see that! But sadly, even the chainsaw fight couldn't save this monstrosity of a film. Nicholas Cage plays a man who goes on a vengeful rampage after his girlfriend gets kidnapped and killed by a violent cult led by a man who can only be described as Buffalo Bill meets The Crow. I've never had a bad acid trip before, but I imagine watching this movie is what that feels like.
I thought Mandy was going to be my least favorite film of the year until I remembered....
1. Fifty Shades Freed
Thank god this franchise is over! I will openly admit that I enjoyed the first Fifty Shades movie in that guilty pleasure, girl's night out, having a good time making fun of it kind of way. It was mindless, trashy fun! The second movie was worse, but not "kill me now" awful. This one, though. Dear god! Put a bullet directly into my head and set me as free as Christian Grey!
What were your least favorite films of 2018?
As always I will post my top ten favorite films on Oscar day!
10. Lean on Pete
Let me make one thing clear. Lean on Pete is not a bad film. It in fact is a good film. A very good film, actually. I just didn't enjoy it. At all. It was incredibly depressing, and I have zero desire to ever watch it again nor ever think about it again. In my opinion, it is 100% the opposite of a movie that I would like. It's about a young boy who takes a job helping an old, washed up horse trainer. The boy becomes attached to one of the horses, Pete, and when he learns that Pete is up for slaughter, he runs away with Pete, trying to save the horse from its fate. Along the journey the boy becomes orphaned and basically homeless. Things just get worse and worse from there. Not at all an enjoyable film watching experience.
9. Disobedience
I feel like producers made this movie just so the Rachels could make out. The film was very uninteresting. Rachel Weisz plays a woman who was shunned by her Orthodox Jewish community for her homosexual tendencies, specifically for her attraction to her female friend, the other Rachel - McAdams. Years later, when her father dies she returns to her hometown and reunites with her family and her friend who is now married to a man. An attraction between the women still exists. Drama ensues. Kim yawns.
8. Blockers
I wanted so hard to like this movie. I love raunchy teen comedies, and I was excited that this one was female driven, but unfortunately it just fell flat. It wasn't funny. All the good parts were the trailer, and those parts weren't even that great. It was definitely a huge let down.
7. Super Troopers 2
I am a big fan of the first Super Troopers. I thought it was absolutely hilarious. So I was actually really excited for the sequel. But either my maturity level has increased or the film was pathetically juvenile. The former is unlikely so it must be the latter. I'll admit I laughed at some parts, but overall, the movie was just not funny and a huge disappointment.
6. The Little Mermaid
This movie confused me. It had high production value (it's a period film with decent costumes and set design) yet at the same time looked extremely amateur, like it was made by students. How the heck were you able to shoot at these gorgeous locations, but manage to make the quality of your film look like mid grade porn? The discrepancy between high production value and shitty looking film is a real head scratcher for me. In addition to that, the acting is so bad. So, so bad!! SO BAD. The movie is on Netflix if you're curious!
5. Mile 22
I don't understand why this movie was made. There was nothing original or interesting about it. Wait, no. I take that back. There was one really cool fight scene. But other than that, this film had no redeeming qualities. I love Mark Walhberg, but I feel like making this film was a huge waste of his time, the filmmakers' time, and all human beings who saw this movie's time. Actually, the story sounded interesting. Mark plays the leader of a highly elite special forces unit whose mission is to extract and transport a package - a man with very important information - 22 miles across extremely dangerous terrain. I feel like that alone would have made for a very exciting action movie, but they threw in a bunch of unnecessary backstory and twists that took away from the core of the story. Plus, Mark Wahlberg's acting was really bad!
4. A Wrinkle in Time
I was surprised that this movie bombed because it was adapted from a beloved book, was produced by Disney, had big stars in it, and the studio marketed the shit out of it. Oprah's in it for goodness sake! But then I saw it...and then I understood. It is very bad! I don't understand how Disney managed to make a multi-million dollar action/adventure film painfully boring, but they did! Just goes to show that pouring buckets of money into a movie won't necessary make it good!
3. Alpha
I had to see this movie because I'm a crazy dog lady. But holy hell was it god awful!! First of all, it was some of the worst CGI I have ever seen! Look, I can understand why you wouldn't want to use real wolves, but if you're going to make a movie about the origin of the relationship between humans and dogs, you should probably spend a little more time making sure the wolves look realistic. Or use real dogs that look like wolves! Or if you can't do either of those things, then don't make the movie at all! Doggies deserve better than that.
2. Mandy
This is a huge joke, right? We're all being trolled, right? Every movie critic in the world got together and decided to write very good reviews for this completely ridiculous, beyond over the top, something straight out of my nightmares Nicholas Cage monstrosity so that us innocent, unsuspecting viewers will watch it, not knowing what ludicrous calamity awaits us. The only reason why I even know about this movie is because Entertainment Weekly put it on their top ten movies of 2018 list. And the more I read about it, the more good things I heard. I mean there's a chainsaw fight for goodness sake! I had to see that! But sadly, even the chainsaw fight couldn't save this monstrosity of a film. Nicholas Cage plays a man who goes on a vengeful rampage after his girlfriend gets kidnapped and killed by a violent cult led by a man who can only be described as Buffalo Bill meets The Crow. I've never had a bad acid trip before, but I imagine watching this movie is what that feels like.
I thought Mandy was going to be my least favorite film of the year until I remembered....
1. Fifty Shades Freed
Thank god this franchise is over! I will openly admit that I enjoyed the first Fifty Shades movie in that guilty pleasure, girl's night out, having a good time making fun of it kind of way. It was mindless, trashy fun! The second movie was worse, but not "kill me now" awful. This one, though. Dear god! Put a bullet directly into my head and set me as free as Christian Grey!
What were your least favorite films of 2018?
As always I will post my top ten favorite films on Oscar day!
The only move I saw in this list was A Wrinkle in Time. I watched it despite the terrible reviews, and even still, I was terriby disappointed!
ReplyDelete